Remember that sesame street video? Click on the image to hear the song..
When I walked into work this morning, one of the students I worked with showed me an interesting article titled “Can I touch it? The Fascination with Natural, African-American Hair that touched on an experience that can be all too common for some African-Americans who choose to wear their hair natural.
In the article, an experience had by writer Tamara Winfrey Harris was recalled in which she narrowly escaped a random petting by a curious, middle-aged, white woman. “She missed by mere seconds, she was actually going to grab my hair as I walked past her,” Winfrey Harris recalled.
“It’s a common tale shared by women of color whose natural hair can attract stares, curiosity, comments and the occasional stranger who desires to reach out and touch. The reaction to such fondling can range from amusement to outrage over the invasion of personal space.”
One colleague of mine who, in sharing her frustrations after having had this experience several times would just say “No! This is not a petting zoo!”
After reading the article together, this student, who identified as being a person who was Indian then asked me if people, or even more specifically people who were white have ever tried to touch my hair before…
It didn’t take me very long to say yes. Sometimes, at least in my experience the touching, or attempted touching has been accompanied by questioning.
As one African-American male who locks his hair, these are some examples of questions or comments I have received from people who are white about my appearance.
“How long does it take to do it? I wish I had all that free time on my hands.”
“Hey, you wear your hair just like the black football players”
“Are you from Jamaica?”
“Bob Marley!! You know, I just think that Bob Marley was such a Revolutionary. I love his music.”
“It must be hard to get a job like that. Employers like that clean-cut look. ”
Lets face it, whether their hair is straightened or not, African-Americans and other people of color face challenges in carving out standards of beauty for themselves in society. For those who decide to wear their hair natural, additional challenges can show up in their everyday lives.
This video produced in 2008 by Kiri Davis entitled “A Girl Like Me” hits on some of the struggles young African-American women can face in defining themselves and their realities against societal standards.
“Color is more than skin deep for young African-American women struggling to define themselves”
In terms of beauty and appearance, I still encounter the conscious and unconscious assertion that lighter is better, whiter is better and the closer one is to that ideal, the greater the value they will have in society.
I am also aware of the perceived importance of having straight hair. From experiencing being teased as a child by other African-American children for being of a darker complexion, to watching children that I grew up with lament over how “nappy” their hair was, to being told that I would not be able to get a job because of my decision to lock my own hair, I see the idea of this perceived inferiority to whiteness as being still prevalent.
We are taught misinformation about ourselves and others.
As you may have seen in the video, and as I see in my daily life, unfortunately, some people of color can internalize the negative messages they receive about themselves and act out that internalization out in a variety of ways.
I’ve always liked having a lot of hair on my head. I can remember being in high school (when my locks were but a small afro) and being approached by one of the sports coaches, who was African-American.
“Its alot of girls out here. You should cut that off boy, you aint’ gonna get any of these young girls around here with your head like that, and good luck getting a job.”
Just as I came to understand that my manhood was not and is not defined by the amount of “currency” I have, (in the form of women) and the amount of women I “conquer”on the unwritten, yet strongly defined road of sexual conquest that some men are socialized to see as a mandatory prerequisite to defining their own value, I also came to understand that I had been taught a great deal of misinformation about my racial identity as well.
For me, having the opportunity to be exposed to what I saw as positive real live examples of people and situations which challenged that misinformation is what led me to challenge things myself.
However, the reality is,
Some might see the coach’s words, particularly the part about me not being able to get a job as being a protective factor because for many, society does hold a view of a “certain kind” of look that defines what is “right” and “professional” and, in this writer’s opinion, many people of color can find themselves outside of that defined standard.
As a result fears both real and perceived about being discriminated against based on outward presentation can lead some to think, say, or do things which (although sometimes harmful to ourselves or others) are meant to minimize the instances and impact of that discrimination.
Where aspirations to become a better humanitarian can factor in
Our communities are still very segregated, and we can sometimes be either unwilling or unable to interact with those that are different from ourselves. The level to which we can avoid or ignore one another without experiencing any consequences greatly depends on our level of privilege.
“Men often hate each other because they fear each other; they fear each other because they don’t know each other; they don’t know each other because they cannot communicate; they cannot communicate because they are separated” Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. (1929-1968)
In engaging in conversations with people who were white who have had questions about my hair, aside from reminding myself of certain realities that can usually give me a strong foundation from which to begin, I also try to assume that people are trying as best they can.
However, as I’ve discussed with friends, family members, and colleagues alike, consistently being in situations where one is either among a few, or the only person of color being looked upon to take advantage of “teachable moments” can be physically and emotionally draining at times, because it can put an undue burden on the targeted person to be seen as a representative of their group.
Photo Credit: http://ilovemyhair.bigcartel.com
Parts of our identities can place us in a position of privilege, while others can leave us vulnerable to discrimination. I believe that in areas in which we are privileged, there are ways we can seek out information about oppressed groups to increase our own understanding without putting a burden on the individual to speak for their own group. This is where Allyhood can play a pivotal role.
One example of working against the misinformation around the idea that blackness and natural hair automatically spells doom and gloom in the work world can be found in the “Naturally Professional Series” on curlynikki.com. This series was
“created to make a positive statement. Our intent is to disprove false and long held beliefs that wearing ones hair in a natural style — including locs, sisterlocs, and loose natural hair — makes a person somehow not professional enough for a corporate environment. Natural hair IS professional, beautiful, well taken care of, and welcome in any kind of workplace.”
People of color choose to wear their hair natural (or not) for a variety of reasons. One task that I feel must continue to be taken on is to help young people of color, permed hair or otherwise to develop and maintain a positive sense of self into adulthood, and to show them counterexamples to some of the popular but negative messages they receive.
Grace & Peace,
SEE ALSO: How I Helped My Client Regrow Her Edges In 6 - 7 Months!
Instagram | Facebook | Twitter | Youtube
Comments
Well, I think the idea of “petting” my hair gets a different response from me. When my hair was permed, no one EVER wanted to touch, let alone do my hair. Not my mother, stylist…hell, sometimes not even me! It was just hay-like, dry, and the split ends were so bad you’d get cut if you stroked the strands at the wrong angle. I got tired of having such lifeless hair that I cut it all off the first weekend of college. And I’ve been natural since. Now this is most certainly based on previous experiences, but I LOVE when people touch my hair. Not “reach out and grab” as Ms. Harris said, but if we are having a conversation or the like and you would like to touch that’s all fine and dandy. Surprisingly, I get the most positive comments from my white peers as opposed to the black ones. As a matter of fact, one of my white coworkers told me the other day that if she was a black woman, her hair would most definitely be in an Afro.
This is funny to be because as soon as I bc’d and got some texture, I was insisting that EVERYONE feel my hair. It’s just so good (to me).
Most of these plans are aimed towards benefit of the
American residents thereby helping them in living the American dream.
An entrepreneur (including an online entrepreneur) also
accepts all the risks and responsibilities of any new
business and will have challenges and obstacles that must be overcome to create a successful business.
If you are just starting out, you can always begin by offering your services
to people you personally know and from there, develop a wider network of clients that can soon include home-based
businesses, small business owners, and who knows, maybe even corporations.
Also visit my website – mehran muslimi
Rather than worrying or complaining about information overload, how about think about how lucky you are to have all this information and knowledge right in front of you.
While many companies ignore their website, the shrewd entrepreneur recognizes this and leverages his or her website to slowly
gain market share. This means that a report or e book is sold and the buyer does not have to give credit
to the writer.
Also visit my web blog :: mehran muslimi
I’m really enjoying the design and layout of your website.
It’s a very easy on the eyes which makes it much more enjoyable for me to come here and visit more often. Did you hire
out a designer to create your theme? Excellent work!
Feel free to surf to my blog :: weight helpful
Accidents will happen and if they don’t, you are one of the rare cases.
It is not just necessity that women choose or buy their underwear randomly but now
they look for various styles that can suit
their body. The way you dress to look your best depends on your body shape, the key is
to make the most of your assets and disguise what
you’re not comfortable with; so if your extra weight is around your thighs and
bottom, you can always rely on black or a darker shade to disguise these areas, and make a
point of showing off your curves perhaps enhance your waist or a
top that enhances your cleavage such as wearing V neck tops.
The distinctive designs are typical of Diesels tactic of making
very ‘noticeable’ products that are hard to ignore. Its only after trial and error
of buying ill fitting underwear did I realize what to
be looking for.
Most new business owners prefer minimal involvement but depending upon the amount of money you are looking for,
that may not always work. These gatekeepers can come in many forms from soft introductions via
people the investor may have some knowledge of and respects to the more covenanted hard introduction from someone
the investor has worked with in the past and
wants to work with again. Also additionally carry on the
main oversight with three full-time owners.
If you wish for too increase your experience onky keep visiting this web siite aand be
updated with the newest gossip posted here.
This is very fascinating, You’re an excessively professional blogger.
I’ve joined your feed and look ahead to
seeking extra of your fantastic post. Also, I have shared your site in my social networks
I’ve been surfing online more than 3 hours today, yet I never found any
interesting article like yours. It is ppretty worth enough
for me. In my opinion, if all web owners annd bloggrs made good content as you did, the nett will be much more useful than ever before.
I’m impressed, I must say. Seldom do I come across a blog that’sboth equally educative
andd entertaining, and without a doubt, you have
hit the nail on the head. The issue iis an issue that not
enough people are speaking intelligently about.
I am very happy that I came across this during my search ffor something
relating to this.
Here iis my blog; Replennage Eye Serhm (replennage.org.uk)
whoah this weblog is wonderful i love reading your posts. Stay up the good work!
You already know, many persons are hunting round for this info,
you could help them greatly.
Iknow this site presents quality dependent articles
and other data, is there any other site which presents these kinds of information in quality?
And hacking today rsults iin real crime: phishing schemes ccollect personal data used in identity theft, sociql
engineering gains passwords that expose tens of thousands
of credit card numbers, and that’s just the tip of the iceberg.
An attacker could exploit this information so as to call you up
(find your number in a catalog or even from Facebook orr send an e-mail).
Discussing business with people who arre not authorized to
know.
“Although success in life is not guaranteed, Jesus makes victory a most certain possibility” – Pastor Sabra I love the story of Meg.
If one performed judgment debtor exams, with document production requests on the judgment debtor and the officers of the entity, one may discover
interesting things. Once the chairperson of each sub-committee is organized
it is time to have a general meeting to get everyone on board.
This is really fascinating, You are an excessively professional blogger.
I have joined your feed and look forward to in quest of extra of your
fantastic post. Also, I have shared your website in my social networks
Spot on with this write-up, I seriously feel this web site needs
far more attention. I’ll probably be back again to read more, thanks
for the advice!
They usually have outlined plenty strategies for this game with the aid of which you are able to easily
prey your adversary and will raise your size and get a
top rating on scoreboard.
This piece of writing offers clear idea in support of the new
people of blogging, that really how to do blogging.
It’s an online multiplayer game that’s being played by over 100,000 people
at the same time.
Since, aided by the hacks it’s possible to maneuver quicker, you simply will not have to worry.
If you are going for most excellent contents like I do, only
visit this web site all the time as itt offers quality contents, thanks
El primer crédito de Knapp como director de arte fue para el cortometraje nominado al Premio de la Academia “No Time For Nuts”, donde aparecía Scrat.
Having read this I thought it was extremely enlightening.
I appreciate you finding the time and energy to put this short article together.
I once again find myself spending a lot of time both reading and leaving comments.
But so what, it was still worthwhile!
Clash of clans hack iOS is somewhat complicated beside the android variation as iOS is quite restrictive about what users may do
to the os and application , that why the offline version for the Clash of clans iOS hack isn’t
feasible to be created if you do not will have jailbreak
so we never desire to encourage individuals jailbreak their
devices because they use the guarantee and if one thing takes
place towards unit you are able to throw him or buy another.
For iOS there is only 1 way to hack clash of clans.
Heya i aam for the primary time here. I found this
board and I in finding It truly helpful & it helped me out
a lot. I aam hoping to give one thing again and help others such as you aided me.
It’s easy to navigate and good for any level of typing proficiency, from those just getting
started to the most accomplished typist.
Having the locksmith do that for you will conserve you
large dollars over having your vehicle pulled to the dealership.
With your locks experience the efficient quality of a locksmith professional installations and
crucial service.
Please note, I am not a lawyer, this is
not a legal advice, it’s my individual belief, nevertheless
for proper lawful guidance, please visit gluckstein online portal straight away.
The pot of gold at the end of this rainbow has become
a focus for many small and large law firms alike.
If you feel that you property has been vandalized
by some other party then you can easily draw them into a
legal battle for compensation.
Espero que essa analise tenha como tirar
todas e cada uma das suas duvidas em cima de Programa Diabetes Controlada.
Preço do Queima desde 48 Horas é 684 reais, que significam menos com 60 reais por mênstruo
caso você faça nas 12 parcelas a 57 reais.
Answer: ‘If there is any way for you to retrieve the shard of tooth that got
chipped off, do so, wrap it carefully in cotton and bring it with you to your dentist.
Freddie gets to sit in the chair while the dentist checks out Freddie’s teeth.
I chose to keep it between her and I, out
of respect for my fellow hygienists and for Dr Ma.
You can start by using this dependable hack device created by a team of experts.
This hack device is known for its advanced level elements.
Really when someone doesn’t understand then its
up to other visitors that they will assist, so
here it happens.
Wonderful site. Lots of helpful information here. I’m sending it to several
buddies ans also sharing iin delicious. And of course, thanks
for your effort!
The final desk was a mixed bag.
Il s’agit tout d’abord du joueur belge Davidi Kitai qui a décroché le trophée
du WPT Invitational qui a attiré 482 joueurs.
La plupart du temps développés avec la technologie Flash, ces
jeux sont généralement très simples à prendre en essential et satisfont la
grande majorité des joueurs.
On vous reprochera votre manque de fair play, votre manque d’éthique et de morale.
Online venues could also be extra susceptible to sure forms of fraud , especially collusion between players.
Nonetheless, they’ve collusion detection skills
that do not exist in brick and mortar casinos.
Très pratiques et intéressants pour les débutants, les Tournois Freeroll sont destinés pour les membres et
se jouent en des parties sans Blind, mais le vainqueur se voit octroyer d’une certaine somme
que la salle propose.
PokerStars is way and away the largest real cash poker site on the internet.
If you would like to play for real cash at PokerStars, please use
our visit site link within the table at the top of this web
page. When creating your account you must also enter the most
effective PokerStars advertising and marketing code , which is POKERNEWS.
We’re right here to help, which is why we created many online poker guides to suit any skill level,
from the newbies to the skilled poker gamers.
Hand rankings, positioning and bankroll management are a couple of to
mention and with so many methods and tactics to cowl,
it is essential to remain conscious of the latest online poker guides prepared by Unibet.
Les tournois de poker ont été légalisés en 2008 afin de pouvoir être organisés au sein des casinos et
en dehors.
I knew precisely what to do with stack sizes and ranges.
These points might be spent on great merchandise, to enter on-line tournaments,
and to qualify for major dwell events. The more
you play, the more you earn.
In addition, a number of online cardrooms have developed VIP programs
to reward common players. Poker rooms often provide
further bonuses for players who wish to high-up their accounts.
Manque de bol, j’avais justement prévu d’aller faire un petit
à Las Vegas et ait dû recourir à un stacking sur le forum
de PokerStrategy pour faire du dwell là-bas.