Or so you think
Or so WE think.
I have days that include me looking in the mirror and fighting the air because what i see is not always the most desirable thing. If you all have been following me, you will know I’m currently trying to fix this train of thought on my weight loss journey.
As a matter of fact, i look in the mirror sometimes and go “KILL IT! KILL IT BEFORE IT REPRODUCES!!” #DontActLikeYouveNeverDoneThis
We have this perception of our bodies that we THINK men have and we run with it. It’s the same with our hair.
And before yall come on this post with that bullshit talking about “I don’t care what a man thinks”
All i’m going to say is DONT
This isn’t for you #ForeverAlone “a man ain’t shit” chicks because EVEN YOU know you don’t mean that. Because while you may get dressed for yourself, and to feel better(sometimes), let’s not sit here and act like men don’t matter because if they didn’t express what their perceived definition of beauty is, your ass would be cringing in a corner somewhere lost and confused in the world because you don’t know who to be.
I’m talking to YOU chick who’s reading this post and swearing that she doesn’t care but clicked on this post anyway and is going to read on because you want to actually know what a man thinks. Moving along…
SO ANYWAY, I asked some of my male friends. I interviewed them one by one to give you that real on how men REALLY feel about our insecurities that cause use to purchase but injections.
First up we have Baron. Baron is one of my favorite spoken word artist. I first heard his work at “Word Connections” on Thursdays at Juju Bag Cafe in New Orleans. I was floored.
Lounging around the house attire vs being dressed to the nines. Which one do you prefer and why?
Baron: Dressed to the nines! I like dressing to the nines personally because its the best expression of your soul without you having to say a word. and when you and your lady can coordinate that expression into a unified freshness, thats love. 🙂
Baron: I love the demeanor that comes with the natural state, no make up, no amazing hair tricks, just you, your bonnet and me, relaxing. I like the relaxed nature of woman.
A lot of women pay attention to what men go crazy over as far as a female’s appearance is concerned. We kind of take that and say “ok this is what’s attractive so I want to attain this”. Makeup is a huge part of this and most men swear they don’t like makeup but that’s part of the image that yall buy into. Do you think the vast amount of changes that we put ourselves through is even necessary? Are we wasting our time getting dolled up? How do you feel about women who wear makeup all the time?
Baron: Make up is ridiculous, you are wasting your time, if i dig you… i dig you. I think women who wear make up all the time are lacking confidence in themselves, to cover up your face… YOUR FACE, EVERYDAY?! This is your emotional resume’, you gotta be hiding something or insecure.
Baron: These body ideologies are ridiculous, to quote the great Dave Chappelle “..these magazines and ads have you forgetting how fucking beautiful you are”. However, personally, I will say I am critical, I keep up with myself, working out, eating right, so I expect the same effort, you don’t have to be Briana Bette, but just keep everything in place, ya know. Presenting yourself well is an expression of good manners. I’ve never been able to tell a black woman what to do or how to be, never will be able to, so no I don’t think we have given women any perception of what we deem as desirable.
As I said before, we are very critical of ourselves and we magnify our physical flaws from an ant to an elephant. How do you view a woman’s physical imperfections? Do you even pay attention to it?
Baron: Flaws? huh? what? So what you have a lil tummy, that means I have a pillow. Stretch marks? I have a map. Boobs hang? I’ll lift them. I’ve never seen a “flaw” I couldn’t manage.
Natural Hair. In recent times, more and more women have started to go natural and the fellas don’t seem to thrilled about it. We get that you guys are used to the wigs and weaves but we don’t want to go that route anymore. What do you think about the switch?
Baron: I love natural hair and its a powerful image. But you’re right, we’re not thrilled, you cant expect us to be, not as much as black women, because really, the average man doesn’t care. Your Hair, is your hair, is your hair.. is your hair.
[Tweet “I love natural hair and its a powerful image – @BaronAmato”]
Assuming that you like natural hair, do you like it long, short, fade, ect on a woman? Are some of the things we are able to do to our hair new to you?
Baron: I enjoy long hair, I like to put my fingers through it. I have 8 aunts, no uncles, there is nothing new under the sun about the diversity of black women’s hair to me.
In the natural hair community, very kinky hair is often ignored and regarded as ugly. It’s been called “texture discrimination. Does the texture or curl pattern of a women’s hair have any bearing on how you view her beauty? Any additional thoughts on it?
Baron: Women have magic about them, every woman owns this magic. Hair texture does not define your magic.
How do you feel about weaves? Most men complain that they can’t put their hands in it mainly because we don’t want you too but it also feels “fake”. What is your take?
Baron:I don’t like weave. Never touched one, because I don’t like it.
When I was a teen, girls, for the most part, wore their own hair. Nowadays almost all teens are wearing weaves, worrying about their bodies and really trying to live up to the superficial “Real Housewives” standards. Do you think women are setting an unrealistic tone for the generation under us?
Baron:YES! There’s too much access nowadays, everybody has a cell phone, and can access anything they want to see in their palms, and a lot of our babies are not realizing all of the work and the teams that put these artificial images together so they beat themselves over the head trying to attain a manufactured image of beauty.
I know we have talked about a lot of physical attributes in this interview and that’s cool but I’m pretty sure no man wants an idiot. What are the attributes of a woman, for you, that make her most beautiful on the inside? What mental attributes would make you “put a ring on it”?
Baron: She has to be sweet, extremely sweet, her voice should carry a softness known to mother natures hands. She should be diligent, and intentional about her actions, passionate, forthright,and willing, and she must have common sense.
For most young ladies, her father’s opinion of her shapes and molds her for the future. If you had/ or have a daughter and you saw her trying to attain these current standards of beauty that we try to live up to, what would you tell her? Please take peer pressure, social media, and television all into consideration as influences on her mind and how she views herself
Baron: I would tell her that there’s no better way she could’ve been born to the earth, accept yourself, anyone who wont take you as is, you don’t need them.
Where can we find you on the net? (IG or Twitter)
Baron: First and foremost.. Shoutout to my set!!! I be in these twitter streets all day everyday @baronamato but if you trying to find a recent selfie of a young flashy nigga with nothing to lose i’m on instagram @baronamato, or check out my work over at baronamato.com